You can't fill nothing with…nothing

EPISODE #2 GOD & ED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE

You can’t fill nothing with…nothing

I made a ton of money in the media and advertising businesses. Guess what I did with it? I used it to turn myself into a Total Jerk. Not all at once, mind you, but over a period of time. Doing it gradually, you don’t realize that you’re doing it. I made it in four easy steps:

Steps to becoming a Total Jerk

1. Go For Power! Hire lots of people to boss around who will tell you how brilliant you are. After a while, you’ll start to believe them. Hire only good looking women…It makes your peers envious.
2. Think “Empire Builder.” Start some other companies. That way, you can pretend to be a real business mogul. By now, you’re thinking of yourself as the next Donald Trump. Of course, if you’re aspiring to be like Donald Trump, you could already be a Jerk.
3. Party Hard! You’ve got money…spend it! Have a good time! Pick up bar tabs; you’ll be amazed how many new BFF’s you’ve got! Start drinking. A lot. Impress everyone by how well you can hold your liquor. After a while, it’ll be more like the liquor is holding you than you holding it…but, hey! Who’s counting drinks?
4. Family Comes First! Well, maybe second or third. Okay, fourth for sure. “Sorry, Honey…I’ve got to work late tonight.” That phone call once or twice a week gradually expands to pretty much every night and even some weekends. Kid’s events…”Sorry, I’ve got a meeting…” Birthdays, anniversaries? “You know I’d be there if I could…” If the family complains that you’re never there, just remember to say; “After all, I’m doing this for you so you can have all the things I never had.” Then buy the kid a pony for Christmas.

I made it through all the steps. I was now a Full-Fledged Jerk. I had money, power, prestige and sycophants. I had what the world calls success! So why wasn’t I happy? Why did I feel so empty?

How about you? Your trip to Jerkdom may have taken a different route and maybe in your case it wasn’t about chasing money. But you got there. And you’re wondering why you’re unhappy, too… and why you feel so empty.

Let me tell you what I finally figured out: We all have a big hole in our center called satisfaction. There is nothing there…just a hole. And I was spending my life trying to fill up that hole with “stuff.” Unfortunately, at the end of the day, “stuff” turns out to be nothing. Absolutely nothing. I suddenly realized that I felt so empty because, you can’t fill nothing with nothing. So I stopped trying and began looking for a more satisfying filling.

Epilogue

Famous author Jack Higgins, who has written over 60 best-selling novels, including The Eagle Has Landed, says that the one thing he now knows about his success that he wished he had known as a small boy is this: “When you get to the top, there’s nothing there.”

Thought for the Day
The trouble with good advice is that it usually interferes with your plans.

A semi-interesting fact
Sorry Texans… A 10-gallon hat actually only holds 6 pints.

Joke Du Jour
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
 "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person and tell them to empty the bathtub."
 "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
 "No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want
a bed near the window?"

Really??
After revolutionizing computers, Bill Gates is now seeking to revolutionize toilets. A spokeswoman for his Foundation said nothing has done more to save lives and improve health than the toilet, but it's reached only a third of the world, uses too much water and requires sewers. So Gates is putting up $41 million to fund "reinventing the toilet" for the developing world. Some ideas include toilets that are inexpensive, don't need sewers or turn human waste into fuel or fertilizer. They're calling the project "Toilet 2.0." I can’t wait till Steven Jobs of Apple to announces his version: The I-POT.

Remember those "glow-fish" that scientists made by splicing a gene in a neon tetra? Now, scientists claim they've used genetics and cloning to create a dog that glows in the dark. The cloned beagle puppies look
perfectly normal in daylight, but several body parts --including the nails, skin, eyes and abdomen-- glow red in the dark, and the dogs' entire body glows under ultraviolet light. And we need to do this because………?

An audit by the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction accused the Dubai-based US defense contractor Anham LLC of overbilling the Pentagon by at least $4.4 million. For instance, the Pentagon was billed $900 for an electric switch valued at $7.05...$4500 for a $183 circuit breaker...and $80 for a piece of drain pipe worth $1.41. They also allegedly charged $20,000 for installation of a system that just had to be wheeled into place and plugged in. A few bucks here, a few bucks there…next thing you
know we’ll be 14 trillion in debt.

Are You Kidding Me??
During the 6th Century it was customary to say, “God Bless You” and congratulate people who sneezed. It was thought they were expelling evil from their bodies!