The Oddfather
Funny how rumors start, circulate and become accepted as fact. Some years ago, when the hot pursuit of money, alcohol, parties and gambling were at the center of my life, I was a pretty well known guy. Well known guys get talked about. A lot. And so a lot of stories circulated about me. Virtually all of them were fiction.
I need to mention again that in those days, as a successful businessman, I had a lot of money. I was also what was known as a “high roller,” which meant that I gambled for high stakes. I went to Las Vegas a couple of times a month as the guest of various casinos. When you travel in that world, you find yourself spending a lot time with shady characters: some legit…some not so much. Some were “connected” but nobody ever talked about it. I was never one of them, but I did gamble with them because they ran the games. Simple as that. I was not a mobster.
That sets the scene for a memorable example of how bizarre the rumor mill can get. It occurred at one of my favorite drinking spots; a club named Diamonds. One evening I returned from a successful gambling junket to Vegas with a wad of cash…$18,000 that I had won…in my pocket. On my way home, I stopped by Diamonds for a cocktail. At one of the tables were four or five of my drinking buddies and a guy I didn’t know. Turns out, his name was Tim and he worked for one of those buddies. Rumors being what they are, he had heard somewhere that I was some kind of Mafia Boss; which of course was ridiculous.
As I sat down at the table, it became apparent that Tim had been drinking and was in the “I’m a tough guy” mode that a lot of drunks fall into. He seemed particularly intent on challenging me. I guess he thought it was macho to get in the face of a “Mobster.” Anyway, at some point he decided I was wrong about a sports question and challenged me to a bet. I declined: I knew I was right and I really didn’t want to take his money. Tim wouldn’t let it go, so finally I said, “Okay, how much do you want to bet?” Since he had just gotten his paycheck and still had it on him he was feeling cocky:”I’ll bet everything in my pocket against everything in yours!”
Poor Tim. Normally, I would have had forty or fifty bucks on me…this night I had $18,000. When I won and flopped all those $100 bills on the table, I thought he was going to have a heart attack. He turned pasty white. Remember, in his mind not only had he lost thousands of dollars he didn’t have…he had lost it to a gangster who would hurt him if he didn’t pay up! He’d heard the bogus stories about me; he’d even heard that I once hung a guy out of a twelfth story window to collect a gambling debt.” Of course, none of it was true; but he thought it was because he had bought in to all the gossip. For that matter, I never planned to take any of his money…I knew he was just a drunk trying to show off in front of his boss.
Everyone at the table was roaring with laughter…except Tim. His boss, a close friend of mine who knew I wasn’t serious, leaned over and whispered, “Let’s have some fun and teach Tim a lesson: pretend you’re serious and that you want your money. I’ll keep needling him at work.”
So that’s what we did. I stood up, screwed my face into what I hoped was a good imitation of a Joe Pesci gangster face, gave him the old “hard eye” glare, and said, as menacingly as I could, “You’ve got thirty days to get me my money!” I turned on my heel and left…nearly suffering a hernia from the strain of holding back the laughter. Me? A Mafia Boss? I may be an Oddfather but I’m sure not a Godfather.
Again: Poor Tim. We let him sweat for a week, with his boss telling him every day that he’d better pay up if he didn’t want to get hurt. Finally, when I heard that he was trying to sell his truck to raise the money, I called it off and told him he really didn’t owe me anything. I’ve never seen anyone look that relieved. To this day, to the best of my knowledge, Tim has never placed another bet.
An amusing anecdote but one that I hope makes a strong point: gossip is painful because so many people believe it…no matter how ridiculous the story. In my case, no real damage was done…except to Tim’s nervous system. But gossip is no laughing matter: it rips apart marriages, relationships, families, churches and companies. Is it any wonder that God tells us to control our tongues and knock off the rumor mongering. There are more than 127 passages about gossip in the Bible. As usual, we don’t seem to be listening: magazines, tabloids and TV shows devoted exclusively to gossip are big sellers. How do we stop it? How about the next time someone starts a sentence with the words “Did you hear about…,” we just smile and walk away.
Otherwise, “Gangster Guy” might have to hang you out of a twelfth floor window. Or send Robert DeNiro after you.”
Bada boom bada bing.
Epilogue
According to Jewish legend, a village gossip monger had told so many malicious untruths about the local rabbi that, overcome by remorse, he begged the rabbi to forgive him. "Rabbi, tell me how I can make amends." The rabbi sighed, "Take two feather pillows, go to the public square and cut the pillows open. Wave them in the air. Then come back." The rumor monger quickly went home, got two feather pillows and a knife, hastened to the square, cut the pillows open, waved them in the air and hastened back to the rabbi's house. "I did just what you said, Rabbi!" "Good." The rabbi said. "Now, go back to the square and collect all your feathers so you can realize the futility of trying to take back all your lies."
Thought for the Day
Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, but faith looks up. H. Jackson Brown
Listen to God & Ed’s Excellent Adventure on the Radio. Monday through Friday at 4pm on “The Word,” 98.5/99.3 FM. Or listen on-line at KLGO.net. It’s the place for Christians of all varieties to hang out and be loved, entertained and uplifted.
A semi-interesting fact
Babies are born with about 300 to 350 bones. Many of these bones fuse together between birth and maturity to produce an average adult total of 206 bones.
Joke Du Jour
The boss was concerned that his employees weren’t giving him enough respect, so he tried an old fashioned method of persuasion: He brought in a sign that said “I’m the Boss” and taped it to his door. After lunch, he noticed someone had taped another note under his. “Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”
Cool Music
Cool songs you’ve never heard on radio. Check the player on the upper right, click and brighten your day.
Questions I ask myself
Is there another word for synonym?
Really?? Actual News Stories
It’s Alive! A morgue has been built with a motion-detecting alarm system…in case “dead” bodies come back to life.
Cemetery officials say the mortuary’s refrigerators are built to be sensitive to movement inside. The slightest motion will set off an alarm. And if they don’t, officials added, the refrigerator doors have been fitted out with internal door handles. Said the coroner, If the patient, proclaimed dead by doctors, awakens to a state of consciousness, then we consider each and every possibility. The mortuary in Malatya has a capacity for 36 bodies of dead people. At least we hope they are .Ooops Someone at a Family Dollar store in Cookeville, Md. called police and reported that a shoplifter there was attempting to leave. Unfortunately for the shoplifter, Diana Ballard, there was a little problem. She couldn’t leave the scene of the crime because she had accidentally locked her keys inside her car. A store worker alleges that he had seen her taking items and placing them inside her purse. She walked out of the store, but when she got to her vehicle, she realized that she had locked her keys in the vehicle and she came back in. Police were waiting for her. They had the keys to their squad car.
A real bank heist: Bank of America will roll out a $5 monthly fee on debit-card use. When the swipe fee legislation was passed, some folks warned this was coming, and here it is. Other banks will likely follow suit. You can avoid the fee if you have certain premium accounts, but for most users, it's going to cost. Let’s see if I’ve got this straight: we have to give them our money to use our money? Five bucks to use our own money. What a deal…for them.
No Bull! The University of New Hampshire plans to ban energy drinks. Why? Because students tend to mix them with alcohol, and that's dangerous. So, potentially, is drinking alcohol straight or with, say, Coke or water. And these are supposed to be the smart people? How about concentrating on keeping alcohol out rather than banning something that's legal and safe when consumed as 99% of people do.
Spooky Three schools in the Syracuse, New York area were locked down after a bus driver reported that a man wearing trench coat was walking toward a high school with a dagger in his hand. The school district locked down the schools and contacted police. Eventually, cops found that the scare was over a student dressed as Harry Potter, carrying a wand. Duh.
Point to Ponder
Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand box at nursery school.
These are the things I learned. Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are food for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw some and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day.
Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. We are like that.
Think of what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put thing back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is still true; no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.
Are you kidding me???
The Bible was written by around forty different people from different backgrounds, from kings, prophets, and writers to fishermen, shepherds, and prisoners.
Groaner
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Forward…Mail!!
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Remember, Christianity is more about walking than about talking
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