Sep

The Dang Compass Didn't Work

Fri Sep 2nd 2011 @ 8:40 pm

There was an old sailor who repeatedly got lost at sea, so his friends gave him a compass and urged him to use it. As David Jeremiah tells the story, the next time the old sailor went to sea, he took the compass with him, but still got lost. Finally, he was rescued by his friends. Disgusted and angry with him, they asked, “Why didn’t you use the compass we gave you? You could have saved us a lot of time and trouble!” The old sailor replied, “I tried to, but the dang thing didn’t work. I wanted to go north, but as hard as I tried to make the needle aim in that direction, it just kept on pointing southeast.”

That old sailor was so sure he knew which direction was north that he tried to force his own personal persuasion on his compass. Unable to do so, he tossed it aside because “the dang thing didn’t work.”

I know all about that old sailor. Like him, my compass didn’t work; it pointed in a direction I didn’t like…so I ignored it. On some level I had to know that the crazy life I was living was headed in the wrong direction, but I wanted to go where I wanted to go. And if I occasionally felt a nudge from my conscience? Hey, a couple of drinks and it goes away. After all, I’m in control! Right? Who needs a compass, anyway?

Funny how self-delusion works: that old sailor was convinced that he was right; therefore it must be the compass that was broken. I was convinced that I was right; therefore anyone who disagreed must be a loser. Recently, when Charlie Sheen melted down in front of the whole world, I couldn’t help thinking, “Man, I understand you. I used to think the same way: ‘if I’m right then everyone else is wrong…I’m winning!’ It’s the compass that’s broken, not me!” Sorry, Charlie…it’s you. And it used to be me. Losing! Duh.

So what made me keep running in the wrong direction? It wasn’t about, as Charlie would say, “Winning.” I had already won in business; I had plenty of money, was respected in the business community and had a great family. So why wasn’t that enough? Why risk it all for gambling and partying? In my case…and I suspect in Charlie Sheen’s as well…it’s all about trying to fill that empty hole in the soul with all the wrong things. And losing. Duh.

Grab the compass, Charlie! The dang thing DOES work.

Epilogue
I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving -- we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it -- but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor. Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Thought for the Day
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! Tom Lehrer

A semi-interesting fact
The common Housefly has five eyes. Two of these are huge compound structures that cover most of the head. Between these are three tiny simple eyes, set in a triangle. In spite of all the eyes, a fly has very poor vision. A fly uses its acute sense of smell to locate its food. Yuch.

Joke Du Jour
Here is the scene: The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and put it on the apple tray...

'Take only ONE. God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is busy watching the apples.'

New Feature!!
A cool song you’ve never heard on radio. Check the player on the upper right, click and brighten your day.

Really?? Actual News Stories:

A New Jersey baseball team said it has canceled its beer pong fundraiser for Mothers Against Drunk Driving. The Newark Bears announced the cancellation of the event after MADD said it would not accept the planned $2,000 donation from the beer pong game. A team spokesman said that upon reconsideration, it might have been inappropriate. Ya think?

A POLISH PRIEST thinks he's put his parishioners on a higher spiritual level - after opening a full-sized inflatable bouncy church. Father Krzystof Kowal came up with the idea after local planners in Kolobrzeg kept turning down his application to build a real church out of bricks and mortar. So he turned to a friend whose company builds garden toys for children. The priest says "Now my congregation will have a place where they can come and pray." I’ve heard of singing and dancing in church, but bouncing for Jesus?

IN BARNSLEY, ENGLAND, bozo John Mason was pulled over by the cops for running a red light. Now, here's where things begin to get strange. Our bozo was not driving a car when the cops stopped him. He was driving a horse-drawn carriage. And that directly led to his coming up with the Bozo Excuse of the Week. He told the cops it was all the horse's fault. He explained that he ran the red light because the horse is colorblind and couldn't tell the difference. The cops didn’t buy it. He was fined $82. The horse was not charged.

1.72 SHOVEL-READY JOBS! - CBS budget expert Mark Knoller has been running the government numbers. He says that the federal debt is now $14.639 trillion. Both Bush and Obama have added about $4 trillion, but it took Bush 8 years and Obama just 2-1/2. Knoller says the government spends nearly $3 million per minute, around the clock, 24/7. But is it at least being spent wisely? It was reported that the US Forest Service gave a stimulus grant of nearly $500,000 to Nevada to create jobs planting trees. It created one fulltime job and 11 short-term jobs, which counts as 1.72 landscaping jobs for $500,000. The government needs to find a way to plant some money trees.

Point to Ponder
Charles William Eliot (1834-1926), former president of Harvard University, had a disfiguring birthmark on his face that bothered him greatly. As a young man, he was told that surgeons could do nothing to remove it. Someone described that moment as "the dark hour of his soul." Eliot's mother gave him this helpful advice: "My son, it is not possible for you to get rid of that hardship...But it is possible for you, with God's help, to grow a mind and soul so big that people will forget to look at your face." Our Daily Bread

Are you kidding me???
The names of the 'Three Wise Men' are not mentioned in the Bible. They are commonly known as Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar as these names were detailed in an early 6th century Greek manuscript